Picture of Henrietta the Hairy Haggis eating heather:-

The Immigrant

We arrived in Southampton one April morn                                        

They dressed in thick coats, despite the season                

They looked as dreich as the dawn

Not a smile or a laugh, they had no reason

Then travel by train to Edinburgh

Pastures rich and green, the rain drizzling down the window

How I missed the red earth, the searing sun and the kookaburra

My aching heart, where will it go

Starting school, I couldn’t understand the lingo

Then it snowed for the very first time

Still yearning for Australia, the wildlife, the dingo

 The kids were helpful and friendly, but alien rhyme

We bought a house, if you could call it that

A matchbox, with a handkerchief lawn

Concrete hell, not fit for a rat

Designed by town planners, oh they should mourn

Civilisation, how can they call it that

From school straight to welfare

From children to mothers, why do they do that?

No work, no laughter, no future, no hope, does anybody care?

©Mary Chandler, 2015

Henrietta the Hairy Haggis's Fifth Birthday Party

HENRIETTA THE HAIRY HAGGIS’s

FIFTH BIRTHDAY PARTY

Page 1 – Illustration of Henrietta with book title.

Pages 3 & 4 – Illustration of Henrietta in her purple kilt.

Henrietta awoke feeling really excited, it was her 5th birthday and today she was having a party to celebrate.  She’d never had a party before so she put on her best purple kilt and her mum put a purple ribbon in her hair.

Pages 5 & 6 – Illustration of Henrietta opening her presents.

All her siblings were excited too and one by one they hugged and kissed her and presented her with all her gifts.  She got purple heather honey, a new kilt, not to mention lots of chocolates and toys.

Pages 7 & 8 – Illustration of Henrietta’s birthday cake, balloons and banners.

She couldn’t wait for her friends to arrive for her party, they were due at 3 o-clock and they were going to have a big cake with candles on the top and jelly and balloons and streamers.  Henrietta had never felt so happy.

Pages 9 & 10 – Illustration of Bertie Badger & Sam Squirrel arriving.

Bertie Badger and his wife Betty were the first to arrive with their daughter, Bettina. 

Not long after came Sam Squirrel with his son Simon, Robert the rabbit and the twins Roberta and Robin.  Fiona the fox came next with her boy Finlay, and last but not least,  Oliver the otter.

Pages 11 & 12 – Illustration of Henrietta opening her presents.

They all brought presents: books, jigsaws, clothes and pencils.  Henrietta felt so lucky and thanked them all profusely.

Pages 13 & 14 – Illustration of Henrietta blowing out her candles and making a wish.

They all sat round the table for her birthday tea, first of all Henrietta had to blow out the candles on her birthday cake and make a wish.  Everyone knows you’re not allowed to tell anyone your wish, as then it won’t come true. 

They all asked her what she’d wished for but Henrietta kept schtum.

Pages 15 & 16 – Illustration of Henrietta and her friends playing games.

Next they played games: blind man’s bluff, pin the tail on the donkey and last of all hide and seek. Henrietta’s mum insisted that they could hide anywhere they liked but not down the well as it was too dangerous.

Pages 17 & 18 – Illustration of Henrietta disappearing down the well.

Henrietta, being a little bit naughty, decided to hide in the well.  She was sure no-one would find her there.  She crawled down and down into the dark, dark well.  It was all slippery and slimy and it gave her the creeps, but she was determined not to be found. 

Page 19 & 20 – Illustration of Henrietta hiding at the bottom on the well.

One by one they all came looking for her but she stayed quiet as a mouse and when they looked down the well they couldn’t see her and went away.

Pages 21 & 22 – Illustration of Henrietta shouting for someone to help her.

Eventually Henrietta’s friends gave up on the game and they all came looking for Henrietta. 

They shouted “come out, come out wherever you are” but Henrietta didn’t appear.

Pages 23 & 24 – Illustration of Henrietta falling back down the well.

She had been down the well for what seemed like hours, when she finally decided she must climb out.  She tried crawling up the side of the well but her wee short legs couldn’t get a grip and she fell, down, down, down into the well.

She was cold and frightened and hungry and shouted for someone to save her.  No-one could hear her screams, what was she going to do.

Pages 25 & 26 – Illustration of Oliver Otter finding Henrietta in the well.

Luckily, after a while, Oliver Otter heard her cries and came running to the well. 

“Quick get a rope” shouted Oliver.  Henrietta’s dad pulled out a rope and threw it down the well to Henrietta.

Pages 27 & 28 – Illustration of everybody pulling Henrietta out of the well.

“Grab hold of the rope” shouted Oliver and we will pull you up.  Henrietta held tight to the rope and everybody pulled at once.

“Heave, ho” said Oliver and eventually Henrietta appeared out of the well.

Pages 29 & 30 – Illustration of Henrietta’s mum and dad thanking Oliver.

Henrietta was so glad Oliver had come to her rescue and her mum and dad were so glad to have Henrietta back again they couldn’t thank Oliver enough.

Page 31 & 32 – Illustration of a very glad Henrietta promising never to go near the well again.

Henrietta learnt her lesson and promised that she would never go near the well again.

Copyright ©Mary Chandler, 2015

The Hall of Poets have published my poem, Childhood Memories, in their september e mag:-

http://issuu.com/drprernasingla/docs/sept_2015

Illustration of Henrietta:

Henrietta the Hairy Haggis III

Henrietta the Hairy Haggis III

Page 1 - Illustration of Henrietta with Book Title

Pages 2 & 3 – Illustration of Henrietta with her family.

Henrietta lived in a beautiful Scottish Highland Glen with her mum, Harriet, dad Harry and her 12 haggis brothers and sisters. 

Henrietta was the youngest of 13, unlucky for some, but she felt blessed that she had such a wonderful family. 

Pages 4 & 5 - Illustration of Henrietta in a lovely Highland Glen eating heather.

Her life was blissfully happy and carefree.  Every day she would play in the sunshine and forage for purple heather, a favourite feast for a haggis.

Pages 6 & 7 - Illustration of Henrietta running clockwise round the hill.

She was a left-legged haggis as her two left legs were longer than her right.  This allowed her to run clockwise round the hill without falling off.

Pages 8 & 9 - Illustration of Henrietta eating her porridge with her 12 siblings

On the morning of August the 12^th Henrietta woke up to glorious sunshine.  She sat down at the table to eat her mother’s porridge sweetened with purple heather honey. 

Pages 10 & 11 - Illustration of Mr & Mrs Haggis lecturing Henrietta of the dangers of leaving the den after the hunting season had started

Her mum and dad insisted that, as the hunting season started today she wasn’t allowed out of the den.  

Pages 12 & 13 – Illustration of Henrietta sneaking out off the den

On the whole Henrietta was a good haggis but sometimes she ignored her parents’ advice.  

She couldn’t resist the bright summer sunshine and, in a fit of rage, sneaked out of the den even though the hunting season had already started.  

Pages 14 & 15 – Illustration of Henrietta gambolling in the heather

She gambolled and munched on the heather and harebells full of the joys of summer until she came across a haggis hunt.  

Pages 16 & 17 – Illustration of the lots of huntsmen and hounds

There were, what seemed like, 100’s of hungry hounds and big burly huntsmen.  Henrietta was terrified because she knew if they caught her they would eat her for dinner.

Pages 18 & 19 – Illustration of Henrietta cowering in the heather.

She cowered in the heather quiet as a field mouse but, unfortunately, one of the dogs saw her. 

Pages 20 & 21 – Illustration of a hound coming after Henrietta

It came running after her at breakneck speed and, in her fear and confusion, she ran the wrong way round the hill. 

Pages 22 & 23 – Illustration of Henrietta running the wrong way round the hill and rolling down the hill

This was a nigh on impossible feat for a left-legged haggis and she lost her balance and tumbled over and over and over down the hillside. 

Pages 24 & 25 – Illustration of Henrietta stopping with a bump outside Bertie’s badger set.

She kept rolling and rolling until she landed with a bump at the bottom of the hill right outside a badger set. 

Pages 26 & 27 – Illustration of Henrietta knocking frantically on the door of the badger set.

She knocked frantically at the door, screaming that the hounds were after her.  The door was opened by Bertie the badger. 

Pages 28 & 29 – Illustration of Bertie talking to Henrietta

“What’s all the noise about” said Bertie.

“The hounds are after me” shouted Henrietta

“Come in quickly” says Bertie and promptly shut the door behind her.

Pages 30 & 31 – Illustration of the dogs digging at the door of the badger set.

The hounds dug at the door of the set, howling loudly, but luckily they couldn’t get in and soon gave up.

Pages 32 & 33 – Illustration of Henrietta crying

Although safe, Henrietta started sobbing. 

“What’s wrong” asked Bertie. 

Henrietta explained that, even though she was safe from the huntsmen and their dogs, she would never be able to climb back up the hill to her home with her wee short legs.  Bertie comforted her and promised to take her home. 

Pages 34 & 35 – Illustration of Bertie climing the hill with Henrietta on his back.

True to his word Bertie climbed the steep hill with Henrietta clinging on tightly to his back and returned her to her family. 

Pages 36 & 37 – Illustration of Henrietta reunited with her family

Henrietta and her family were overjoyed and couldn’t thank Bertie enough.  Henrietta learnt her lesson and never left the den during the hunting season ever again.

© Mary Chandler, 2015 

OLD COCKY

Old Cocky was short and stocky and walked past my gate in his ancient tartan slippers, with his usual shuffling gait that is reserved for old folk.  With his bulbous nose and wild eyebrows peeking out of his bunnet, he stooped as he walked past me with his stick.  His grey-blue eyes looked sad and tired, it wasn’t the first time he had told me he wished he was no longer here.

I wondered what snippet of gossip he would have for me today, probably the same as yesterday.  Cocky has early stage dementia and unfortunately tells you the same story every day, except when talking about his life down the pit many years ago. 

His memory for the past is as sharp as the knife I sliced my finger open with this morning.  He could tell you all the minutiae of all the neighbours’ lives, going back to before my estate was built.  I always used to rely on Cocky to find out what the neighbours were up to.

For the last 18 years Cocky has told me, in no uncertain terms, how things should be done when I’ve been doing up my house and garden.  He was the font of all knowledge and reminded me somewhat of my dad.  With the same bigoted, sexist and dictatorial attitudes, I looked on him as a father figure, but, like my dad, he could also turn his hand to almost anything.  He knows everyone and nobody can walk down the street without being accosted by old Cocky and, once he strikes up a conversation, it’s impossible to get away.  Perhaps that’s why he has no true friends, nobody but me will put up with him. 

There’s another side to Cocky though, he’s very generous and I can’t leave his house without him giving me something:  a piece of fruit; a saw or a newspaper.  He’s always giving things away and his ‘advice’, which can be annoying, but is always well meant. 

He has no children of his own and his wife died of cancer a good few years ago, along with his precious black Labrador, bramble.  Even his girlfriend, Anne, has given up on him, as her health isn’t too good either and she lives too far away.  One by one all his old ‘friends’ are popping off.  He must be very lonely and isolated but, if you mention him going to an old folks club or getting a befriender, he says he’s too ‘shy’ and digs his heels in.  I’ve given up trying to advise him as he never takes any heed.

It’s sad to see how such a proud and capable man could crumble in front of my very eyes and I hate to think what the future holds for him.

Henrietta the Hairy Haggis II

Henrietta lived in a beautiful Scottish Highland Glen with her mum, Harriet, dad, Harry and her 12 haggis brothers and sisters. 

Her life was blissfully happy and carefree.  Every day she would play in the sunshine and forage for purple heather, a favourite feast for a haggis.

Henrietta was the youngest of 13, unlucky for some, but she felt blessed that she had such a wonderful family. 

She was a right-legged haggis as her two left legs were longer than her right.  This allowed her to run clockwise round the hill without falling off.

On the whole Henrietta was a good haggis but sometimes she ignored her parents advice.  

Her mum and dad insisted that, once the shooting season started, she wasn’t allowed out of the den.  

Henrietta couldn’t resist the bright summer sunshine and, in a fit of rage, sneaked out of the den even though the hunting season had already started.  

She gambolled and munched on the heather and harebells full of the joys of summer until she came across a haggis hunt.  

There were, what seemed like, 100’s of hungry hounds and big burly huntsmen.  Henrietta was terrified because she knew if they caught her they would eat her for dinner.

She cowered in the heather quiet as a field mouse but, unfortunately, one of the dogs saw her. 

It came running after her at breakneck speed and, in her fear and confusion, she ran the wrong way round the hill. 

This was a nigh on impossible feat for a right-legged haggis and she lost her balance and tumbled over and over and over down the hillside. 

She kept rolling and rolling until she landed with a bump at the bottom of the hill right inside a badger set. 

I don’t know who got the biggest surprise, Henrietta or Bertie the badger. 

The hounds dug at the entrance to the set, howling loudly, but luckily they were too big to enter the badgers den and soon gave up.

Although safe, Henrietta started sobbing.  “What’s wrong” asked Bertie.  Henrietta explained that, even though she was safe from the huntsmen and their dogs, she would never be able to climb back up the hill to her home with her wee short legs. 

Bertie comforted her and promised to take her home. 

True to his word Bertie climbed the steep hill with Henrietta clinging on tightly to his back and returned her to her family. 

Henrietta and her family were overjoyed and couldn’t thank Bertie enough. 

Henrietta learnt her lesson and never left the den during the hunting season ever again.

Copyright Mary Chandler, 2015

Henrietta the Hairy Haggis

Henrietta lived in a beautiful Scottish Highland Glen with her 12 baby haggis’s and her husband Harry.  Their life was blissfully happy and carefree.  Every day they would play in the sunshine and forage for purple heather, a favourite feast for a haggis.

Henrietta was a right-legged haggis as her two left legs were longer than her right.  This allowed her to run clockwise round the hill without falling off.

One day in August, the start of the shooting season, Henrietta came across a haggis hunt.  There were, what seemed like, 100’s of hungry hounds and big burly huntsmen.  Henrietta was terrified because she knew if they caught her they would eat her for dinner and her poor children would be left without a mother and Harry without a wife.

Unfortunately, one of the dogs saw her, even though she cowered in the heather, quieter than a field mouse.  It came running after her and, in her fear and confusion, she ran the wrong way round the hill.  This was a nigh on impossible feat for a right-legged haggis and she lost her balance and tumbled over and over and over down the hillside.  She kept rolling and rolling until she landed with a bump inside a badger set.  I don’t know who got the biggest surprise, Henrietta or Bertie the badger. The hounds, dug at the entrance to the set, howling loudly, but luckily they were too big to enter the badgers den. 

Although safe Henrietta started sobbing.  “What’s wrong” said Bertie.  Henriatta explained that, even though she was safe from the huntsmen, she would never be able to climb back up the hill to her babies and husband.  Bertie comforted her and suggested she climb on his back and he would take her home.  True to his word Bertie climbed the steep hill with Henrietta on his back and returned her to her family.  Henrietta and her family were overjoyed and couldn’t thank Bertie enough.  Henrietta learnt her lesson and no longer left her den during the shooting season!

A Walk in the Park

A Walk in the Park


Almondell, the oasis in a sea of concrete
Ecosystems for all walks of life
Where ancient and contemporary meld
And nature blends with man

A tapestry of green, woven skilfully by Mother nature
Giant redwoods, to miniature Monkey puzzles
Feeding frenzies at the feeder
Buzzards circling on the thermals
Children screaming with ecstasy
All kinds of life are represented

Everyone something new
Snowdrops poking their heads above the snow
Sheltering from the belting rain
Wild garlic wafting its heady scent
The bouquet of Summer
Forget-me-nots cannot be overlooked
Nor the blaze of autumn colours

 
The Almond wends its weary way
Hiding the elusive Kingfisher
And the fisher folk
Woods high above, a myriad of layers for everything to explore
All the people, entwined in peace
Nothing can disturb its tranquillity or its splendour

Childhood Memories II

Aint she cute

Pity she aint mute

Aint she a beaut

Raucous laugh - far too loud

Aint she smart

Forever cowed

Sisters’ harrying

Silently Crying

Tied to a tree, hopelessly sobbing

Bad dreams in the night

Lonliness enveloping

Jealousy aint hatred – but it aint right

Sunshine, in the blistering heat

Straddling her pony - in time to the beat

Escape, from the heat

She yearns to touch the sky

But here she can meet

her fate, she can fly.

Where's your Keys

[Where's your keys]

6 July 2015

WHERE’S YOUR KEYS – Short Story No. 1

“Where’s your keys” said Nicky jokingly!

“They’ll be in my bag like last time” Ruby replied confidently.

Ruby remembered the first time she’d met Nicky.  It was at the King’s Manor Hotel, where her keys had first gone missing.  She’d searched the room high and low and even reported it to the Hotel Manager.  After over an hour of frenetic searching, she finally found them in her rather oversized handbag!

She was positive that this would be the same scenario but, after frantically tipping her handbag out all over the floor and emptying all her pockets, she realised she must have left them in the boot of the car.  

What a numpty she felt.  She’d never done anything as empty-headed as this for ages.

Nicky’s husband and his jakey friend, Paul, tried repeatedly to break into the car, all to no avail.  “Was she that judgemental” she pondered, having decided that Paul was a ‘jakey’ on meeting him for the very first time.   When he suggested smashing the window and making out that it had been broken into, she realised that her first impressions were justified!

She did consider breaking into the car, however, as finding the spare key was likely to be like looking for a needle in a haystack.  

Luckily, sanity returned and she decided to get the bus home. 

“Where could it be” she thought anxiously?  She was packing up her house in order to move home and had put loads of boxes in the shed.  Finding anything in the shed was nigh on impossible.  She had a picture in her mind that the key was in her jewellery box but where had she put the jewellery box?

When she finally got home, to her amazement, she found her jewellery box almost straight away, in the beside-cabinet.  She looked at it tentatively, hoping that she’d find the missing key.  She opened it slowly like a treasure chest and lo and behold, here was the offending key!

Disaster averted, Ruby now keeps her spare keys in the safe.